[March 3, 2015 ]
“Woe is me for my hurt! my wound is grievous: but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it” (Jeremiah 10:19 ).
A colleague at work but from different department, who also has a seventh grader like my boy enrolled in the same school but in different section and in different sector, was too enthusiastic to realize only a few schooldays more and it’d be a year down, five to go, so he didn’t mind we were then inside our building’s defective elevator.
His daughter is consistent topnotcher in her class and I’d say she is a potential future sage. His topic shifted to my son, and I curtly told him, “Oh, I’m so happy he maintains his grades.” He quickly nodded in genuine happiness because since last year’s enrollment we always compare notes as we become friends. Little did he know what I meant of “maintain” was, like in the previous grading period, my son’s ratings still have three “line-of-seven’s.”
Being a struggling parent, you can’t help but feel frustrated if not despondent upon seeing your child having his studies only taken for granted. But what else is new? Even Jay Leno admitted American studies revealed nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is stupid.
The sad part there is after you did evaluate things from the start, you horribly found out you didn’t actually do your best part. You finally recognized yourself you lack the most important virtue of all which is patience, and now that the result consequently turned out this way you begin to be bothered by conscience.
Sometimes you don’t realize it that deep inside you there’s a part blaming the stars to escape culpability. When in troth and in fact everything rests on your shoulders since day one when you started a family. It’s really hard to accept the truth you can’t simply inspire a young mind. You speak things you think are helpful to them but eventually, they don’t mind.
The scariest part here is if you are not aware you bombastically preach things perfectly contrary to what you usually practice in your life all year through. As if you are an alcoholic preacher or a suicidal lung doctor who, with regards to smoking and drinking, tells you to follow what they say and not what they do.
Or say, maybe there’s a little bit of karma factor in here as you had this feeling it involves some genetic issue. Like, he may have inherited your then constant motto, “Why strive for ninety-five when seventy-five will do?”
As time goes by you are shown of biting reality you’re slowly losing grip on him because sooner or later he’d definitely demand total freedom like anyone else did during his own era. Like what you had cried then to your parents, “Give me liberty, or give me death!” and they gave you the former for they thought you were referring then to Liberty Condensada.
Ahh, the great circle of life, yesterday you were a player, but now you are relegated to a mere spectator. And the more you feel those diminishing cells in your body, the more you reconfirm your need for a Savior.
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