THE PAST AND THE FURIOUS

(Note:  Posted on cyberspace on August 17, 2011 at 12:49pm.  At a time when I was, to quote Maid Miriam, “not angry.  [But]… irate… foaming in the mouth… homicidal… suicidal… humiliated, debased, degraded.”  Nevertheless, I was so grateful I was still able to hold my punches.  And instead, in my God I sought refuge and found my rest.)

[Reference passages: Luke 5:1-6]

I was fuming mad. Though the root cause was due to my own stupidity in its greatest heights (or deepest low, take your pick), the rage was consuming myself so bad. I was angry at myself too for putting trust in the flesh and blood.

I desperately sought diversion to keep my nerves relaxed. And I subsequently remembered the [passage of] history quoted above.

This was the best quality of Simon (from whom I named after my second son): Impulsively obedient. His reply to the Master would never stop to amaze me. It was in the character of the man to obey his Lord at any given time.

Of course, he was the same Simon, who was later named Peter (the Rock, not the Rocker) who denied he knew Jesus, not once, not twice, but thrice, yet, when it comes to obeying the Lord’s command, he would never do otherwise. Even if he knew that to obey, logic and reason should be defied.

In that story, had Simon relied only to his own self as a seasoned fisherman, surely, he would never follow Jesus’ order to let down the fishing net again, much less in that moment since being a battle-scarred veteran whose the sea probably considered his domicile, his carnal mind could be certain that to exert another effort to do so would still prove futile.

They spent the whole previous night fishing, scouring, combing the sea, again and again, but caught nothing. If the fish could easily avoid their nets in the dark of the night, prudence dictates that they could evade the same with their eyes closed in the presence of sunlight.

But Simon was obedience personified. His words in that story were gloriously immortalized: “Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing, NEVERTHELESS AT THY WORD I will let down the net.” What happened next was a draught of fish which, due to its vast number, caused some nets to break.

It’s really so difficult to follow Simon’s footsteps. Here, a fellow had wronged me, the one my flesh considered as my current bitter enemy. And the Lord said, “Love your enemies…” (Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27). Can I say also to my God, my enemy caused my toiling of sleepless night, NEVERTHELESS AT THY WORD, I will let down my anger’s net with delight?

At the end of the day, I know the choice is mine. I know I can forgive. As God forgave. Not of my own power. Only because of His sufficient grace.