Coming home through the bus again one night, I had to admit that
as I grow old some of the words I’ve learned to live by must now be
compulsorily compromised. Those tenets I thought I would be religiously adhered
to throughout my whole life seem to be turning out rather the ones I’d act in
opposite as time goes by.
Once upon a time, each time I would see a girl or woman standing
inside the bus where I am having my seat comfortably, I’d readily give it up in
her favor because of my belief that a lady must be
treated like a princess with utmost priority.
However, as we grow old and all
kinds of body sore and pain would grow as well in and out—to make us shout—it’s
amazing to find out that such old compassion due a last woman standing
evaporates quickly because of a mere gout.
And what sometimes surprises us
more is finding ourselves saying it loudly or just mumbling these like words to
a lady: “You knew it well beforehand that this bus would be standing-room-only,
so take your cross, bear your burden and ride in agony.”
It happens some of the time that we fiercely develop this bad
attitude or negative character not on purpose, and we realized we have them
inside us already when in defining moment we have them so suddenly let loose.
Worse, we are just aware of it when we’d eventually hurt someone
and everything’s way too late. And we don’t care anymore whatever they would
feel because we have now become simply insensitive.
Well, that’s what happens when there’s no more option but to do
something in exchange for our own pain. The situation calls for it and leaves
us not much of a choice but to begrudgingly give in. That’s the problem when
health becomes a hindrance to someone who wants to do something noble at once.
Or, something divine, like telling your God during your sweet
hour of prayer in private time that upon Him only you’d want to turn your eyes.
But how can you possibly do it today when your eyes are now having a dim light,
hence if you cannot read the Scriptures in the day, how much more during the
night.
That’s what we often do to the Lord our God likewise when it
comes to our skills and talent, commitment and love. We decide to use those
spiritual gifts finally for His glory long after the world had siphoned off the
best of our ability. It turns out God would have just to make do with what’s
left in us indeed. He practically has to settle Himself with a left-over or
second-hand, to be candid.
But actually He doesn’t mind at all whether one has become only
a shadow of who he was. Everyone’s welcome in the service of His Majesty as
long as he has come full circle to ‘childhood’ to follow Jesus.
Like a grieving rich father who is waiting patiently for his
prodigal son right in front of the door of his dome, what matters now to Him is
he has humbled himself and realized in his heart God is all he’d need after
all.
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